Ok I promised a TV post...but I'm going to
erase that promise. I’m not really sure what to write about. I mean I
watch a lot of shows, like way too many. I have a board on Pinterest dedicated to the shows I like and I
accurately titled it "Junkie". Which, in my mind, brings me to my
soapbox.
I hate the question "what do
you like to do for fun?" or "what do you do in your spare time?"
I would like to say to all the people out there that ask that horrible question
"wow, how original!"
They really are horrible questions, maybe because "spare time" is
vague, and "fun" is a generalized word, that we use for everything remotely
enjoyable. I have a friend who was raised in Britain and she once told me that
the word fun is not really used the same way there (or wasn't) and so she never
really understood what it meant when people said they had fun. Then she
moved to good ol' Merica and
went boating and four wheeling and played with all of our many, many toys here.
She said only then did she understand what we meant when we said “fun.” Interesting
thought, no? And that reminds me of my favorite farewell. “It’s been real, it’s
been fun, but it hasn’t been real fun.” Which is true. Things are pretty much always
“fun,” but few things are “real fun.”
Awesome. I’m, ranting again. At least this time it’s not about Harry
Potter…which is real fun.
Back onto the box...I think my issue with those
questions comes from my lack of having an exciting answer. I usually answer by
saying I love to read and watch TV in my spare time. Every one's first thought
is "wow...lazy much?" If I say parkour every
one thinks "whoa! cool"...but then I'd be lying and that will be
embarrassing when they find out I can't jump even short buildings with a single
bound…so I try really hard to make reading and watching TV sound cool and
exciting and energizing, that way I'm not some boring chick who sits/lays on
the couch all day...whether or not that's true.
Now how can we make these default questions better? Well the
easiest thing to do is to just not ask those questions, but that isn’t going to
happen because my impact reaches a whopping 5 people, on a good day. So the backup
option is the always reliable, rewire our brains.
Instead of saying, “I like to run,” or “I
play basketball,” let’s throw in things we find enjoyable but not necessarily
something we do every day. Not our most common spare time activity. Things I
find fun are exploring; homes, forests, towns, rocky beaches and tide pools,
but you don't see me wondering about with a fanny pack full of crackers and
fruit snacks every day. I also really like to learn about ancient history
and animals. I love to go to the zoo and make up life stories for the animals
and humanize them all, or go to museums and try to play archeologist in the dig
pits. I also really like to be in competitive situations where I can vent and
win and not feel bad about it, but if I do that
too often my friend count will drop dramatically.
Like I said, those are not things I do every
day, but they are things I think are fun to do, and if I could, I would fill my
spare time with them and other nonsensical but “fun” things. So maybe that is
what we need to do. Instead of asking those cursed questions we should ask
"what do you find fun?" or "what would you like to do in your
spare time?" It gives people a broader range. It helps them share a part
of themselves that is interesting, that actually shows people who they are. It
helps them to answer truthfully without feeling judged or uncomfortable. And I
can sound more like my exciting self and keep my junkie side private for a
little while longer.
For those of you who are interested in knowing what I waste my
time on…http://pinterest.com/maquel89/junkie/
